Today I got into a fight with a large man. A bigot, in fact. 

The t-shirt in question.

I was standing in a queue at a local pizza place, waiting to place my order. My brother mentioned that the man alongside me didn't like my t-shirt. So, I looked over at him. "You should be worried about your own country - what about the farmers?" he said. He twisted his mouth downwards as his fleshy face reddened. He was clearly angry at my display of empathy and solidarity. "It's about human rights," I replied in an attempt to show him how fundamental the denial that Palestinians suffer is. "You should sort out your own religion first," he commanded. I had never met this man before. He didn't even know my name, let alone what religion I practice or whether I am an atheist. 

Again, I attempted to explain that my support of Palestine had nothing to do with religion. Empathy for my fellow human beings, and recognising that the Israeli occupation of Palestine and its treatment of Palestinians is despicable does not require a belief in a god. I had barely finished my first sentence when he asserted that Muslim men treat "their" (yes, he actually used that pronoun) women terribly. Has this man never been out in society? Patriarchy is not exclusively Muslim - as his choice of pronoun illustrated.

A few minutes went by and he walked back past me to collect his pizza. On his way out he demanded, "You must change your shirt" (indeed, he failed to recognise his hypocrisy for a second time). The woman behind the till told me not to worry, and twirled her index finger at the side of her head to indicate that this man was just crazy. I wasn't going to do anything. I'd listened to him and I attempted to talk to him in a civil, calm manner but he was not interested. I tried to be the "bigger person" but in the face of such ignorance and contempt for humanity, I simply could not contain my anger any longer.

 It was the type of anger where your face swells with emotion and the tears just burst out of you. I followed the man to his car. I started to tell him that he had no right to tell me what to do, or what to wear. And, that his lack of empathy was based on ignorance. I also tried to draw a comparison between what Palestinians face and apartheid South Africa. He didn't hear me. He shouted at me, and I shouted back. However, he definitely did not want to engage in any sort of discussion. He clambered into his car as quickly as he could, and let the windows down so he could scream at me as he drove off. "Report me to Rajbansi," he said as he drove away - thereby displaying both his racism and political ignorance.

This was my first direct experience with bigotry as an adult. After spending two weeks observing "third spaces" (places such as cafes and bus stops where citizens have meaningful, democratic conversations) I discovered that most "third spaces" don't live up to theory. On the whole, engaging conversation was conspicuously absent in the  "third spaces" that I observed. These spaces were fractured. They illustrated the fragmentation of South African society, on a social as well as a political level. For me this incident was certainly not an example of a healthy political conversation. The man in question had no interest in engaging in a discussion. People disagree all the time, but there is nothing valuable in attacking someone for their beliefs without listening to their justification for it. On top of that, this man just made assumptions about me. I was wrong and he was right on the basis of these assumptions. I completely understand his need to want to sort out the issues that obviously linger in South Africa, but if this is the way that citizens attempt to engage with each other then these problems will always persist.

On the other hand, other customers at the pizza place and some staff came over to check if I was ok (I was full-on bawling by the time I returned). And, this was despite a few ungracious comments I'd made at the end of the altercation (I pretty much lost it after the Rajbansi remark and called the man "a racist little bitch" and a "fucking bigot" as he drove away).

Ten hours after this happened I'm still angry. I just hope that the incident affected the man just as much as it affected me, and he did some research in an attempt to understand my position. If not (and I highly doubt that he'll read this, but you never know), here's an open invitation to a proper conversation. Because, we sure as hell need more those.